Snow Much Disappointment

Posted by on January 29, 2015

juno-hype-kit-bennett-coachingI am a sucker for weather hype!  Yup, I’m one of the first to head to the grocery store to buy bread (gluten free baking mix actually), milk, batteries and fill the car with gas. So this past Sunday (1/26/14) I dutifully prepared for,

My husband got an extra day off and I had visions of us cozying up after a bacon and pancake breakfast and watching a movie.
Then we woke up to NOTHING but a dusting of snow!
The sudden change of gears was almost audible ZZZZZZZZZip..CLUNK!

We read the weather reports before bed and saw there was a chance of lighter than expected snowfall, but not a dusting. Seriously?
We were both very disappointed but we just moved along.  After all he still had a day off.

We made our tea and sat together laughing while reading Facebook updates.

Rick, my husband looked a little “off “. When I asked what was up, he said he was feeling anxious, but wasn’t sure why. Clearly there was a LOT going on.
After a bit of discussion (because I can’t let anything go), we realized it was the storm build up and the disappointment it left in its wake, combined with some residual adrenaline.

Talking about his anxiety caused me to do a quick check-in on my own disappointment. I was reacting to the Juno hype, but I also had a seriously needed writing retreat cut short because the coming storm. Not only did I lose my 3 days away, but also I didn’t get my storm….BUMMER!

So where did this leave us?  I have the not always appreciated habit of taking everyday occurrences and transforming them into “teachable moments” , so why not Juno the Storm of 2015.

We all have disappointments thrown at us; a cancelled date, changed plans, lost job promotions that never happen or lost relationships.
There’s nothing we can do to change that, but it’s what we do with that disappointment that matters.

What would it look like if we used our feelings of disappointment to open a door into our creativity?
What if we take that energy and create from it, like a mound of clay on a potter’s wheel? That mound was once a vase the fell apart,  but from that it can become a gorgeous new work.

I’m not talking about merely putting a positive spin on a shitty circumstance.
I call that “silver-lining it” and that drives me crazy! I’m talking about being with the emotion and creating  transformation from that place.

What could that look like?
First, allow yourself to REALLY feel the disappointment. DON’T merely brush it off.  Take some deep breaths…really BE with your feelings.
After all they are what makes us truly human.
Ask yourself some questions:
“Is this familiar?”
“Where am I feeling disappointment? Anger?  Frustration? Anxiety?
Is it in my gut, neck, shoulders…?
“What’s there?” Or “What’s it like here?”
“What’s’ a good metaphor for what I’m feeling”
For you creative’s, give it a color, imagery or song.

Keep exploring.

Then right THERE from that place…
“What am I noticing?”
“What can I access from here?”
”What’s possible here?”
“If I was at my best, what would I do right now?”

That’s where the creativity switch gets flipped!

With this kind of process a lost job opportunity can become a realization of power and a new business.
A cancelled date can become an evening of self-care such as journaling, reading a favorite book or giving yourself a pedicure.
You could take this opportunity to learn more about self-compassion and vulnerability.

In my case, I created a new wanna-be (gluten free) chocolate chip cookie recipe for a wanna-be storm, I let myself take a day off and played with the dog in the woods. Then felt inspired to write this post.

Kit Bennett's gluten free wanna-be chocolate chip cookies.

From disappointment to creating gluten free cookie-ness!

As for my husband, he used the disappointment-triggered anxiety to acquire firewood for a cozy evening.

How can you use disappointment to fuel your creativity?

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